What We'll Leave Behind Read online

  The image of the morning light touching Stephanie’s skin was a picture his heart and his head told him to never to forget. They were in mutual understanding when it came to this woman.

  “Can you stop staring at me?” Stephanie groaned without opening her eyes.

  Julian brushed her hair back. “I’m not staring at you.”

  “C’est un mensonge!” She snuggled closer to him and sighed.

  “Wanna translate that for me, Blondie?”

  She had groaned again before her bright, blue eyes greeted him. So blue and so beautiful. The most amazing colour he had ever seen.

  “C’est un mesonge. That’s a lie. I could feel your eyes on me,” she explained, glaring at him.

  Julian squinted at her. “Now, they’re on you.”

  “I guess,” she said, rubbing her eyes.

  When she stopped and sleep was clearly removed from her face, Julian softly placed his lips on her forehead. “Good morning.”

  “It was until I woke up to see you,” she sassed.

  Julian hummed, allowing the hand that was on her hip to slowly make its way up the side of her body. “If I remember correctly, you had no problems looking at me last night.”

  She shivered. “I had my eyes closed until you cruelly put an end to things.”

  Julian’s hand reached the cheek of her ass and pressed her slim body harder to his, allowing her to feel just how much he wanted her. “It’s never nice being the one to cockblock yourself. But, Blondie, I want to see you work hard. Persuade me. Make me want you.”

  A slow grin enveloped Stephanie’s face. “You are so outside my comfort zone.”

  Julian pulled back and then eyed her. “Seriously?”

  She nodded. “If any other guy tried this shit on me, I’d be walking away.”

  His brow smoothed out as a proud grin spread across his face. “It’s because you’re attracted to me.”

  You’re going to fall in love with me, Blondie.

  I don’t know when.

  I don’t know how.

  But you will.

  Stephanie sat up, rocking the hammock before she got off. “If you say so,” she said and then walked back into the villa.

  Julian quickly got out and followed her. “Where are you going?” he called after her.

  When she made it to the door, she turned around. Her hair was still messy from sleep, but it only made her all the more alluring.

  “Back to my room,” she stated with a tilt of her head.

  Julian crossed the room and splayed his hands against the wood of the door, pinning her. “Stay with me, Blondie.”

  “Can’t.”

  “Why?”

  She raised her chin, her lips close to his. “I need to shower.”

  The corners of his mouth tugged upwards. “Shower with me?” he whispered.

  A sparkle shimmered in her blue eyes. “Oh, if only you were so lucky.”

  “Lucky, huh?” Julian asked just above her lips.

  “Uh-huh.”

  Stephanie made the first move. She crashed her lips to his, and then her hands were in his hair. She took charge, and he loved her dominating him. She took away each bit of air he breathed and replaced it with a lingering need for her. That inexperience was still there, but she knew how to kiss him—like she had found the secrets that would unravel him. His fingernails dug into the wood of the door. He wanted to touch her so desperately. So instead, he let his body fall against hers just to feel her.

  Their open-mouthed kisses came to a stop when she giggled and eased her hold of his hair.

  “I don’t have to try that hard to make you want me.”

  Julian let his forehead touch hers as his eyes remained shut. “I’m just being stubborn. Don’t give up just yet, Blondie, because I’m not giving up.”

  When he opened his eyes, hers softened. It was as if what he’d said had affected her emotionally. His heart clenched at the sight. It was what he’d wanted to see without even knowing he’d wanted to see it. And with that one look, he knew he wanted to see it forever.

  I want her for the rest of my life.

  I shouldn’t.

  I couldn’t.

  But I do.

  “We’ll see, Julian. I better go.”

  Her right hand gripped the doorknob, but she didn’t move to twist it. So he covered her hand with his, and he didn’t miss her flinch. He loved it and allowed his heart to consume the feel of it.

  “Meet me at the beach later?” he asked with a lot of hope.

  “If you’re lucky,” she said with a daring smile.

  He took a step back and gave her the space required to turn. When Stephanie opened the door, he couldn’t help but latch on to her arm.

  “I sound needy, but I’ll see you later?”

  Stephanie’s smile had grown larger before she kissed his cheek. “If you have enough faith in me, you will know your answer.” Then she spun around and made her way back towards the beach.

  I have high hopes.

  It had been almost an hour since she had left Julian’s villa. After her shower, she had dressed in a pale-blue dress that hit above her knees. Today, the weather had been a lot stickier and humid than yesterday, so she had tied her hair before leaving her room. She hoped the kiss she had sprung on him back at the villa would have him believing her want and desire for him. During the night, she had woken up to his mumbling, and for a moment, she’d watched him sleep and felt him breathe. It was something special. And he was beautiful.

  Stevie scanned one side of the beach, looking for him. Her stomach dropped when she didn’t see him.

  “No more games,” she muttered to herself and kicked at the sand. “I want the rest of my holiday spent with him. No one and nothing else.”

  With a firm nod to herself, Stevie turned and scanned the other side of the beach. When she spotted his brown hair, she sighed in relief. She was only confident it was him when he glanced over his shoulder and she was able to see his face.

  You had faith in me, Julian.

  Slightly hunched over, Stevie tiptoed towards him. When she reached him, she set her hands over his eyes. Then his hands covered hers and she felt his cheeks rise with his smile.

  “You’re so obsessed with me,” he stated, tilting his head up in her direction.

  “You wish.” Stevie lowered her lips to touch his. “I’m only attracted to what you can give me.”

  He smiled against her mouth. “And what can I give you?”

  Her lips had pressed on his before she breathed, “I think you know. You actually promised me.”

  When his lips puckered to meet hers, she pulled back slightly and refused physical contact.

  “Promises work two ways,” she reminded him. “Especially ours.”

  “Is that so?” Julian squeezed her hand.

  “Yep. You don’t. I don’t. You do. I do.”

  A smirk graced his lips. “So, what do you want me to do, Blondie?”

  Cocky bastard.

  Stevie exhaled and moved her hands from his face. What she had expected was to see a gleam of self-satisfaction wash over his light-blue eyes. Instead, they were gentle, and it made her chest feel suddenly heavy with emotion. The want to torture him and play games was gone. She wanted whatever they had to mean something to him.

  “Make me come, Julian,” she whispered, foregoing dirty talk for honesty.

  The flash that took over his eyes wasn’t raw in the sense that he wanted meaningless. It was raw in the sense that he wanted to please her. Raw to the point he almost seemed vulnerable.

  She had been expecting his stubbornness. She had been expecting another play. Another game. But instead, he nodded.

  “Okay,” he said.

  One word. And that word had her moving back so he could stand. That one word had her heart twisting, heating, and finding relief. A million emotions had her almost scared to be close to him. To let her own vulnerabilities be discovered by him.

  Julian held his hand out
to her. Glancing at it, she swallowed hard. A sense of curiosity spread throughout her body.

  “Why are you so hell-bent on holding my hand?” she asked as she pulled away from him.

  He stepped towards her, and she quickly took one step back. Curiosity now ignited her insecurities. Out of all the women he could have chosen, he’d chosen her. It was hard to breathe, like there were heavy weights on her chest.

  She couldn’t comprehend the soft features of his face. In reality, she had no understanding of what they had together. It was supposed to be a summer friendship, but it wasn’t anymore. It was so much more, and she wasn’t sure if it terrified her or exhilarated her.

  “Tell me,” she softly demanded.

  Julian took another step. His refusal to answer had her moving her hands behind her back. The light smile he made had her believing that maybe he cared as much as she did. Then he cupped her face and planted a kiss on her lips. Short and sweet. His lips were the reason for desperation and desire. Like they had created the two words.

  “Makes me feel like I’m yours for more than just a day on the beach. Makes me feel like I could be yours for eternity,” he confessed.

  There was no stopping her heart. It beat with so much intensity that she wasn’t sure if she could take another inhale of air. Like she had no filter or brain, Stevie took a step forward, wrapped her arms around his waist, and then whispered, “I’m yours for eternity.”

  We’re no longer playing games.

  “Tell me something I can know about you,” she asked as he handed her a cold bottle of water.

  “I thought we weren’t doing the whole ‘this is my life and my past’ thing,” Julian answered before he led her from the large kitchen to the hammock.

  “I know we did. But give me something that can justify why I want you other than for something physical,” she explained and quickly regretted it.

  Glancing over to Julian, she noticed that the features of his face had tensed. He said nothing as he went to the hammock and sat on it, his back leaning on the end. He had stared at his hands before his lips made a frown. A serious look reminiscent of how he stared at the fire. Any expression other than a smile shouldn’t consume his face, and she wanted his grin to return.

  When she reached him, she placed the bottle on the floor, swung a leg over the hammock, and straddled him. Her left hand automatically went to his cheek, stroking it gently. The sigh he made was comforting and strange. Whatever pull he had only intensified with the seconds that passed. Julian’s hands rested on her thighs, and his thumb traced circles on her skin.

  “What we have… I can’t explain it. It’s like there’s magic between us. We create it and consume it,” he stated without taking his eyes off her.

  Something we both can’t explain.

  Something I doubt I’d find again.

  I’m scared to know more about him.

  I’m scared I’ll fall in love with him.

  We end the moment our holiday does.

  We have to.

  “The magic will disappear, Julian,” she whispered, lowering her gaze to his naked chest.

  “Hey,” he said softly, causing her to lift her eyes to meet his wondrous light blues. “It won’t. I won’t let it.”

  When his hand covered the one she had resting on his cheek, she gave him a slight smile. He’d sounded genuine, but she knew the truth. In order to prevent these memories from being tarnished, they’d have to end soon. Let what they had be what they had promised it would be when they’d met. She hadn’t been completely honest about her name from the very start. The only truth was her feelings towards him.

  “You’ve got some true faith,” she said with a nervous laugh she tried to hide.

  Julian took her hand off his face and set it on his chest. She felt the hard and fast beats of his heart under her fingers.

  “I’d believe in anything for you.”

  “Why?” she asked breathlessly as her eyes trailed back to his face, remembering every inch of it.

  “No one looks at me like you do. Back home, I’m no one special. But here, with you, you make me feel like I’m someone worth spending time with. And the way you smile when you see me? I can’t turn away from it. I can’t breathe without it. It might not make sense to anyone else, but it does to me. And when you read and get lost in that book, it makes me feel like I don’t know the world. I didn’t until I met you.”

  Tears prickled her eyes, and she blinked the insulting wetness away. Before she could say a word, Julian raised her hand off his chest and brought it his mouth. He stared for a second then his lips touched the skin of her palm.

  “I want you to need me like I need you in order to breathe, Stephanie. I’ve never needed someone’s laugh or smile like I have yours. I don’t want the magic to disappear. Stay with me?” he asked once his lips left her skin.

  Stevie’s hands cupped his face, and she knew he was someone who brought out a sense of fearlessness she had never known she had. “Okay,” she whispered.

  She wanted to say more, but she was afraid to. Instead, she let her lips meet his and decided to kiss her doubts away.

  I think I’m falling in love with you.

  I don’t know why I’m delaying giving her pleasure.

  I don’t know why I keep hesitating.

  God, I don’t know how to freaking think around her.

  “You okay?” Stephanie asked, staring at him.

  Julian quickly nodded, keeping his eyes on the dark ocean.

  After grabbing dinner at one of the street stalls he loved, they had gone back and ended up kissing on the hammock before he had suggested a walk down the beach. Never in his life had he been more sexually frustrated, but it wasn’t about his needs. It was about hers. He didn’t want it to be something quick between them. He was starting to feel more for her than any other woman he had ever been interested in, and he had every intention of making it last. The only problem was convincing her to give him so much more than just a holiday.

  “Do you know what any of these stars are called?”

  “Sure I do,” he replied. He smiled then turned to face her.

  Stephanie tilted her head and raised her brow, the light from the moon showcasing the skeptical expression on her face. “Then name them for me.”

  “Okay,” he said before he pointed to an almost straight cluster of stars. “That’s the Milky Way.”

  “That was too easy. Tell me more.”

  Julian sighed and then gestured at random stars. “That’s Godzilla… Wilson… Harry…” Then he paused. “And that there is Pluto’s wang!”

  Stephanie groaned and then shook her head. “Stargazing is wasted on you.”

  He chuckled at the annoyed tone of her voice. “Fine. That star”—he signaled to a large, bright one to his left—“is a big one! But it’s way bigger than that small fry over there near the moon.” When he glanced over at her, she rolled her eyes at him.

  “NASA, eat your heart out,” she deadpanned.

  A light laugh escaped him before his hand settled on her thigh and squeezed. “Can we do something more accepted by the solar system?” he asked, just able to see the twinkles in her eyes.

  “What is more accepted than staring at a billion stars in the sky?” she asked.

  He was silent for a moment before he whispered, “Kissing you under a billion stars.”

  Stephanie’s lips parted, and then, suddenly, she giggled. It wasn’t an annoying kind of giggle. He had always hated gigglers. But this was a sound his heart instantly loved.

  “That was terrible!”

  His shoulders sagged. If he weren’t so infatuated with her, he’d be offended. “Do-over?”

  She brushed a lock of blonde hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear. “I guess I can offer you a do-over. Now, impress me.”

  It was so unexpected that his eyes widened. His heart had finally given way. It was only a matter of time.

  Fuckin’ hell. I think I really will love this w
oman.

  The sounds of the waves crashing caught his attention. His gaze shifted from the sky to the ocean. He knew nothing about stars, but he had always understood water. He had grown up around it. His mother’s love for rowing had rubbed off on his brother, Rob. For most of his life, Julian had grown up watching Rob race. Water was something soothing in his life. However beautiful it was, it was also dangerous. It could drown you. It could relieve you. He appreciated and respected it.

  Julian glanced at the shore and smiled. “There, right there. Did you see it? Where the water reaches the farthest end? No one ever appreciates how hard the ocean tries to reach the ends of the Earth. It never gets past the shore without the help of the moon or another force of nature.”

  Stephanie was quiet. His heart was anxious to hear her speak. Then he felt her hand slip into his. She had squeezed once before he looked at her.

  “Are you trying to woo me with something philosophically deep and heartfelt?” she asked in a low voice—the kind that made him want to claim her as his for the rest of his life.

  His lips curved upwards. “Am I wooing you?”

  Please, God, say yes!

  “Kiss me and we’ll see,” she instructed.

  The beating of his heart increased so frantically that he was afraid it would burst out of his chest. Or it would stop just before he got to taste her lips. The only relief he knew was to kiss her. It had become a necessity, more so than air or water.

  Once he cupped her face, he let his thumbs stroke her cheeks. “You can stop begging, Blondie. I guess I’ll kiss you.”

  “You’re an idiot,” she breathed.

  His mouth crashed onto hers to stop any other words from escaping. “You’re an idiot,” meant something. It felt like it did. Like Stephanie’s true feelings were underneath every letter that made up that sentence. Julian tilted her head to deepen the kiss, to pour more of his soul into hers. The soft sigh Stephanie made caused the desperation to surge through him. His mouth covered hers frantically and passionately, searing her lips into his memory forever.