The Results of Unrequited Read online

  “You’re the greatest,” she told her father. His phone ringing caught her attention as he reached into his jeans pocket and pulled it out.

  Her father frowned and let out a sigh. “I have to take this,” he said, the apology clear in his voice.

  Alex knew it must be work, and she nodded. “Of course, Dad.”

  “I won’t be long,” he promised as he glanced over at her mother, gave her a tight smile, and then got out of his chair. Her father kissed the top of Alex’s head before he left their table to answer his call.

  “We stopped by Chino’s this morning to see Savannah,” her mother said, getting her attention.

  “I know she appreciated that,” Alex said as she set down her fork, not wanting to eat more of her fries since she was full from her burger.

  “She did. We had a cup of coffee with her during her break. She caught us up on everything. She even told us about that football player hurting you and apologized to your father and me for putting you in a dangerous situation.”

  Oh, Sav.

  Her heart warmed.

  She truly did have the greatest best friend in the world.

  “Sav has nothing to be sorry about,” Alex said with a smile of appreciation. “I’ll see her tonight. I’m not staying at Landon’s with them away. I think his roommates need a break from me. I already strained his relationship with his mother. I don’t want to strain his relationship with his best friends. They’re also his teammates.”

  Her mother had a sad smile on her face. Clara Parker once told her daughter that she was very much her father’s daughter when Alex told them that her boyfriend’s mother didn’t like her. That she would not let Mrs. Carmichael dictate her relationship with Landon. Just as her father had not allowed Gillian Lawrence to have any say on his relationship with Alex’s mother.

  “Speaking of Landon …” The way her mother’s voice softened had Alex’s spine straightening and dread rolling through her veins.

  “What about Landon?”

  “Alexandra, he’ll be graduating soon. Do you know what will happen?”

  Alex’s shoulders fell as she sighed. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I know that the NBA draft is next. He’s good, Mum. Really good. I just don’t know what happens when he leaves Duke, and I’m still here. I guess since we haven’t spoken about the future, it’s a little uncertain. But I know we’ll figure it out.”

  “I love you. And I love Landon for you, Alexandra, but you need to talk about your future so you’re both on the same page. It’s a little more complicated with the chance of him being drafted for the NBA.”

  “I know,” she agreed. Alex glanced over her shoulder to find her father shaking his head as he was on the phone. She knew that this was the time to ask her mother what was really on her mind. Alex loved her father, but when it came to him, she couldn’t talk so openly with her father. She had hurt her father and disappointed him several times when it came to Evan. “Mum …?”

  Her mother’s smile faded at the fear in Alex’s voice. “Yes, Alexandra?”

  Letting out a sigh, Alex sat properly in her seat as she took in the flash of concern in her mother’s golden brown eyes. “Evan called me last night. I told him he had the wrong number. And this morning, he called me three more times. Mum, you have to be honest with me. Has he called you? Do you know why he’d be calling after all this time?”

  Guilt replaced the concern on her mother’s face as her eyes darkened. “He’s called,” she admitted. “You said you were okay with us keeping in touch with him. You made us promise to give him a chance.”

  “I did. And I still mean that. But, Mum, you have to understand that Evan and I are over.”

  Her voice broke, and her heart wailed in her chest.

  Old memories resurfaced like a recurring nightmare.

  Her throat tightened, but she pushed through the discomfort and begged her sobs to vanish. “We’re not like you and Dad. Evan went back to Stanford and fell in love with another girl and didn’t tell me. He let me hold on to his words as if they’d be fulfilled promises. Nothing can ever happen between us again. Not after everything. He made a choice, as did I. I went to Stanford and said goodbye. I came back to Duke and gave Landon the rest of my heart. And all he’s done is cherish and love it. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out with Evan, but he has never been fair to me. I know you love him, and I would never make you or Dad choose. That’s not fair to either of you. I’ve moved on, Mum, and I deserve to be happy. Evan Gilmore stopped making me happy the moment he returned home with her, and I had to find out that way.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks as her mother picked up her unused napkin and handed it over to Alex. “I understand, Alexandra. I do. I promise you, I don’t know why he called you. He asks about you, but I don’t tell him more than that you’re happy.”

  Alex pressed the napkin to her cheeks and brushed away the first Evan tears she’d shed in a long time.

  Her mother wasn’t wrong. Alex was happy.

  Her life with Landon was born out of the storm’s wrath.

  The bliss she shared with Evan was gone.

  He no longer had the power to abuse her heart or her love for him.

  He had broken her heart for the last time on Christmas.

  And he would never have the chance to repair what he ruined.

  Those capable hands belonged to another.

  56 Ba

  barium

  AJ

  Freshmen year of college

  It was a strange feeling being back in North Carolina.

  Made even stranger when she walked out of the baggage claim area to find her roommate with a giant smile on her face and a sign that read: Welcome home, Duke’s most beloved and Savannah’s best friend.

  AJ had known Savannah Peters for months, but it felt as if she’d known her all her life. And AJ knew they’d only grow closer. Savannah Peters made AJ love Duke. She had come into her life when she needed a friend, and she became more like a sister to AJ.

  “Alex!” Savannah shouted, waving her glittery blue and white welcome home sign.

  Pulling her suitcase along, AJ smiled as she stood in front of Savannah. Before she could even say hello, her roommate wrapped her arms tightly around AJ and embraced her.

  “I’ve missed you,” Savannah mumbled.

  Once they parted from their embrace, AJ smiled. She didn’t have many girlfriends back home. In fact, Savannah was the only friend she had made without Evan. “I’ve missed you, too,” she said wholeheartedly.

  “Come on. Let’s get on the road before the traffic gets bad. My truck is this way,” Savannah said before she led AJ out of the airport and toward the premier parking.

  When they reached Savannah’s red truck minutes later, her roommate took AJ’s suitcase and put it in the bed of the truck. AJ opened the passenger side and slipped inside, and Savannah joined her by sliding in the driver’s seat seconds later. She pulled her phone out of her jeans pocket and noticed that she still had no message from Evan. She had texted him that she was leaving Massachusetts this morning.

  She was now back in North Carolina and fall break was officially over.

  She’d be returning to class tomorrow.

  It had been two days since she last saw Evan.

  He promised to call her, but he hadn’t.

  She knew his focus was on Stanford. The rape case had made national news, and the university had distanced themselves from the players. The baseball team was plastered all over the news, and two of the three players who were arrested had their charges dropped. From what was being reported, the senior Stanford baseball player could be found guilty of rape with “conclusive evidence” found by the police.

  AJ knew Evan had a lot of pressure on him right now.

  And she wouldn’t add to it by demanding he call her the second he
was free.

  She couldn’t do that to him.

  So AJ sent him a text message.

  AJ: Good morning, Evan. I just landed in Durham. I hope you’re okay. Call me when you’re free. I love you here. I love you there. I love you with over two thousand miles between us. I love you, Evan Gilmore.

  Happy with her text message, she sent it and then set her phone in her lap as she buckled her seat belt in place. She glanced over to find Savannah’s raised brow, her blue eyes sparkling with curiosity.

  “So y’all work things out on your road trip? I barely heard from you,” Savannah said.

  AJ smiled. “I know. I’m sorry. Things got a bit intense.”

  “Intense?”

  “Yeah, but let’s talk once we’re back at our dorm.”

  Their dorm room door shut loudly behind her as she dropped her purse on the mattress and left her suitcase by her bed. AJ reached up and unbuttoned her thick winter jacket and peeled it off. She placed it by her purse and then spun around to see Savannah’s raised brows, the curiosity and desperation shining in her blue eyes.

  “You okay?” AJ asked.

  Her roommate pushed off the door and rushed to her own bed to sit facing AJ. “Okay? I’ve been dying to find out what happened.”

  AJ let out a small laugh. “First, tell me why you didn’t go back to Vermont?”

  “My dad didn’t want help. Told me to focus on school,” she explained with a roll of her eyes.

  “What did you do during fall break?” AJ asked, hoping to draw attention away from her for a little while longer.

  Savannah’s brows furrowed. “Alex, I want to talk about you. About you and Evan. What happened?”

  “We went on a road trip.”

  “Stop being so coy. Tell me because I know something happened. I can see it on your face. Y’all go home and you come back to Duke with color on your cheeks. So tell me, does he feel the same?”

  Her lip twitched. “Does he love me?”

  Savannah nodded eagerly. “Does he?”

  “He loves me.”

  Her roommate let out a squeal. “Oh, sweet baby Jesus, tell me everything!” she demanded as she jumped off her bed and rushed over to climb on AJ’s.

  “Where do you want me to start?”

  Savannah crossed her legs and hummed as if she were mulling it over. “The minute y’all left Duke. That’s where I want you to start.”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “Alex, I ain’t got nothing but time.”

  The next thirty minutes consisted of AJ explaining to her roommate exactly what happened on her road trip back to Massachusetts with Evan. Every detail. Every fight and tear. Every I love you and confession. Every moment of that road trip. Savannah gasped when AJ confessed she had lost her virginity to him. It was the only time she stopped her. Savannah asked if she was okay, and AJ admitted that she was. That it felt right and perfect to be with Evan so intimately.

  A smile touched Savannah’s lips, and she urged her to continue. That smile vanished when AJ told her that she hadn’t heard from him since they parted ways outside Logan. He had been in California for two days, and he still hadn’t answered any of her calls or texts. AJ hadn’t wanted to bombard him—to appear clingy—so she told herself that everything would be okay.

  That they would be okay.

  She had to believe him.

  She did believe him.

  And she had put all her faith in him not to break her heart once more.

  She had given Evan Gilmore every part of her.

  She hoped that he meant every part he gave to her.

  That they meant everything.

  That this was their chance.

  And that AJ was finally the girl his heart belonged to.

  “So what happens now?” Savannah asked, concern sweeping the features of her face.

  AJ pressed her lips tightly together before saying, “I don’t know. I love him, Sav.”

  “I can see that,” Savannah said as she squeezed AJ’s hand. “I also saw the truth in Evan’s eyes. He loves you. But he just left you in Massachusetts without … much.”

  She sighed. “I know. I haven’t heard from him since he said goodbye to me at the airport. I know that what he’s returning to isn’t easy, and I also know that leaving us so unclear was hard for him. I just don’t know what happens next.”

  Savannah nodded. “Everything will be okay. I have to ask …”

  “Yes?”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  AJ tilted her head in confusion. “Am I sure I’m okay?”

  “When I lost my virginity in the back of my high school boyfriend’s truck, that was it. No one asked me if I was okay.” Savannah squeezed her hand once more in reassurance. “It was this massive step in trust. Sure, sex is a physical act, but it’s also this colossal step in trust and emotional connection. But not only that, were you safe? Did he make sure you were safe and okay?”

  This was what she was missing from her life.

  Sure, Evan was her best friend.

  But there was only so much they could talk about.

  With Savannah, AJ could be honest about all the things she couldn’t with Evan.

  She had a girlfriend in her roommate.

  And for that, AJ was thankful.

  Her lips splayed in a small smile. “I felt safe,” AJ admitted. “I felt loved and … it was perfect. We had a talk, and I have no regrets about giving Evan my virginity. I honestly can’t think or want to share that moment in my life with anyone other than him. But …”

  Her roommate’s eyes widened. “But?”

  “We weren’t technically safe.”

  “Oh, my God, please don’t tell me y’all did it in the car while he was driving.”

  A laugh escaped AJ. “No! We didn’t have sex in his car. Trust me, it was beautiful. In a room with the sound of the storm and flashes of lightning. It was perfect.”

  “Then how weren’t y’all sa—” Savannah blinked at her as AJ chewed her lip. Her roommate pulled her hand from hers. “Y’all didn’t use protection?”

  AJ shook her head. “No, we didn’t. I honestly didn’t think, Sav. I just wanted to be with him and … all rationality left me. All I wanted to do was give him all of me. I didn’t think about the consequences.”

  “Hey,” Savannah whispered with a small smile of her own. “You don’t need to explain anything. I’m not going to judge you. You’re my friend. And as your friend, I’ll take you to the clinic, and we’ll get you tested and—”

  “It’s okay, Sav. I already had an STD and a pregnancy test. My doctor gave me the morning-after pill just in case. I should know the results of both tests soon.”

  Savannah’s shoulders relaxed in relief. “Oh, good. I’m glad you went.”

  “Thanks for the support, Sav. It means the world.”

  “Of course, Alex. But … what happens if you took the contraception too late? What if it comes back …?”

  “Positive?”

  “Yeah,” she said with a nod. “What if you’re pregnant right now?”

  It was instantaneous.

  The way her heart came to a halt, and the way her lungs burned as air slipped from its grasp.

  Pregnant.

  I could be pregnant right now.

  “I … I don’t know,” Alex mumbled. Then she swallowed the large lump in her throat, but it didn’t help with how dry her mouth was. It didn’t help her escape the anxiety and fear that seeped into her veins and tainted her blood. “I can’t be pregnant right now, Sav. I’m eighteen. I’ve barely been in college.”

  “You know you don’t have to have the baby. As much as I hate to say it, you don’t have to.”

  AJ nodded. “I know but … to be the mother of Evan’s child, it’s not a bad future.
And if I am pregnant, then I guess I’m a mother way before I ever planned to be. There’s no way I could not have a baby if I got the chance to. All my mother and father had was me. And my grandparents told me I was a miracle. If this is the only time, then I’m gonna take it.”

  Savannah smiled largely, as if she were proud of AJ’s answer. “I like that. But that’s all hypothetical because we’re most likely just overthinking and all your tests will come back negative.”

  “I hope so,” Alex said in a small voice, hoping for those very results she and Savannah were praying for.

  “I think I’m taking notes wrong,” Savannah said as she picked up a notebook from the shelf and waved it in AJ’s face, getting her attention. “You okay?”

  AJ blinked several times to focus on Savannah’s arched brow. Then she nodded. “I’m okay. My classes were just repeats, so …”

  “They were super boring?”

  She laughed. “They weren’t. Do you need anything else?”

  “I’ll just grab a few notebooks, and then we can leave the bookstore. Seriously, I think I’m writing too much.”

  “Long notes are better than short ones when it comes to studying for finals. You’ll probably curse yourself if you only wrote a few sentences.”

  “You’re right,” Savannah said as she led them away from the stationery and toward the register of the campus’s bookstore. “Do you wanna grab some pizza after my shift and your final class today?”

  “Sure.” AJ followed Savannah when the apparel section caught her eye, causing her to stop in front of the Duke display of caps.

  There were several different types, but the blue cap with DUKE stitched across it had her reaching for it. Holding it, she smiled as her thumb ran across the stitched letters. She’d fallen in love with Duke. It hadn’t been her dream school, but she was happy to be here. However, school pride hadn’t been why the cap caught her attention.

  It reminded her of a memory.

  The memory of Evan handing her the Colorado Rockies baseball cap to wear at Fenway Park the summer before their senior year of high school.