What You Left Behind Read online

  Dropping his hands from her face, Julian leant towards her ear. “I’ll see you ‘round, Blondie,” he whispered with a smile.

  Walking away was a bold move. But for Julian, it was his moment to leave an impression. As in Thailand, he was choosing to use his ‘you’re going to miss me’ approach. It had worked four years ago, and he prayed it would work this time. He’d have to be careful because another bold move could send her running all over again.

  Having sex in Thailand had been that bold move.

  Standing next to the dance floor, Julian continuously scanned the room, his gaze landing on a woman he’d never seen before. Her hazel eyes had a nervous gleam to them. Her frown looked out of place for a wedding reception. Letting his curiosity get the better of him, he walked towards her as she sipped her drink.

  “I’m guessing bridesmaid?” Julian asked as he took in her pastel purple dress.

  She lowered her glass and smiled at him. “Nope. Wedding crasher who happened to dress the part,” she played along and set her glass on the table behind her.

  “Knew it!” He smiled victoriously.

  She rolled her eyes and then stared sadly over at the bride and groom. “I should be angry with her, but how can I be when she’s that happy. She never had that smile when she was with my brother.”

  Julian gazed at her and gave her an understanding nod. He knew who she was—Liam’s younger sister.

  Ally.

  He remembered when he’d first heard of her back in New York, when he had taken unapproved leave for Alex’s birthday. Tara gave him an ass kicking, but he didn’t care. He needed out and an excuse as good as Alex’s birthday was his escape. Taking in Ally’s appearance, she was attractive and had that cute factor working for her. Julian noted that her hazel eyes were a pair he liked and so was the way she smiled. But what he’d heard of the O’Connor’s—and especially Allison O’Connor—was off-putting. Sydney did things to people. And he had been one of them. No doubt Ally was one of them, too.

  “How’s your brother doing?” Julian asked as he watched Clara speak to her father. Noel stood by, smiling and listening, his hand never leaving his wife.

  “A wreck. Just don’t tell Clara. If she knew, then she’d feel terrible. But Liam knew what he was walking into when he started dating her,” Ally revealed with a sad tone in her voice. “You look familiar. Have we met?”

  He gave her a smile as she tried to figure it out. She was pretty and sweet, but he didn’t want her. A friend? That they could be. He decided that if Tara were going to have her way and have him return to Sydney, at least he’d have Allison O’Connor. In some strange way, he felt like they had a connection.

  “Did you go to that Rockfield benefit last year?”

  Julian shook his head. As he was about to answer, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

  “Dad wants to talk to you.”

  Ally quickly looked away and Julian could see her cheeks turn a lovely shade of red. Julian faced his brother and then raised his brow. Rob didn’t acknowledge Ally and that annoyed him. No woman deserved to be ignored the way Rob was ignoring Ally. She may be a Sydney socialite, but she was different.

  “Did you hear me? Dad wants to talk to you,” Rob said with more force in his voice.

  “Yeah, I heard you. It was lovely meeting you, Allison. Save me a dance?” Julian asked with a grin.

  Ally turned and smiled sweetly at him. “Sure.”

  Rob dragged Julian away and towards their father, who was speaking with Louise, Noel’s mother.

  “You know, you can be such an asshole,” Julian pointed out, shrugging Rob’s hand away.

  “Yeah, yeah. I’m the bad guy. Whatever.”

  The moment they approached their father and his proud grin, Julian dropped his scolding. Rob had his way with people. He was never open and warm. Instead, he was brute and cold. His attitude around Ally was typical Rob. But his attitude around Stephanie, that was something Julian had never seen before.

  “My boy,” their father said to Julian as his arms wrapped around him. “Good to have you home, son.”

  “It’s good to be home,” Julian replied honestly, as he stepped out of his father’s arms.

  “Mrs Parker, you look as beautiful as always,” Julian acknowledged. She smiled brightly as her vibrant green eyes shimmered.

  “Thank you, Julian. Good to have you home on such a joyous occasion,” Louise said and kissed his cheek.

  “Wouldn’t miss this for the world. Noel would be the one to kill me. You saw how protective he is over her? Whipped!” Julian playfully shook his head.

  Louise gazed over at her youngest son. “I’m proud of him. I wasn’t sure if he’d settle down after what they went through. Scared he wasn’t going to find love again. You should see it. He worships the ground she walks on. He’s like his father. Loves with everything that’s in him or not at all. Oh, excuse me,” Louise said, pointing at her husband who was calling her over.

  Julian couldn’t help but scan the room as he tried to find Stephanie. Maybe he shouldn’t have left her, but he needed to make an impression, just like last time. She was different from the girl he had met on the beach, and he was determined to get to know her.

  “You really staying this time, son?” he heard his father ask. Julian spun around and set a hand on his shoulder, smiling. He’d found his reason to stay. Though Tara had taken his promotion away, he still had the offer at Rogers & Co. If they delivered the promises they offered to his liking, then Julian would be stupid to turn down such an offer. He was done with Sydney and had been for a long time. It was time to start anew and finding Stephanie had been that fresh road he needed.

  “Yeah, Dad. Can’t let you age without me seeing it happen.” Julian laughed. His father had tensed under his touch before a smile and then a laugh escaped him.

  Rob cleared his throat. “You want to come and live with me until you find a place?”

  Julian turned and eyed his brother, surprised by the offer. He caught a glimpse of Max’s back from the corner of his eye and knew of his decision. Julian removed his hand from his father’s shoulder and shook his head at his brother.

  “I might stay with Max if he lets me. No offence, Rob. But I don’t think he’s okay. Plus all my crap is in his bloody blood diamond of a car. Have you seen that thing?”

  Rob’s facial features had hardened before he sighed. “That’s not a bad idea. Guy needs someone to put him on the straight and narrow. Just make sure he doesn’t call her in his drunken state. Go on and ask him.”

  “All right,” Julian said. He nodded at his father before crossing the dance floor to where Max sat by himself at a table. “You ‘right?” he asked once he took a seat next to Max.

  “No point in lying. I’m fucking miserable around hundreds of happy people.”

  “You’ll be okay. She never deserved you anyway. Listen…” Julian began to say.

  “Yeah?”

  “Would it be okay if I stayed at your place for a while?”

  Max’s eyebrows had furrowed before he smirked. “My apartment’s quiet as fuck. Having your loud and annoying ass might make things around here more interesting.”

  Julian grinned. He now also had Max to keep him in Melbourne for a little while longer.

  Long enough to make me hers again.

  Arms wrapped around her, Stevie smiled instantly at the sense of security she felt. For a moment, he held her, and she loved the peace that settled between them. Her eyes fluttered, and she sighed. Next thing she knew, she was being lifted; a giggle escaped her, and then she was dunked into the cold waters of Karon Beach.

  The ocean washed over her and she opened her eyes under the water to see small fish flawlessly move before her. Then she stood up and wiped her face. Stevie huffed out and gawked at the grin on his face. Her nostrils flared as she pointed her finger at him.

  “I can’t believe you just dunked me!”

  Julian let out a chuckle before pulling her into his chest. “Light
en up, Stephanie. You were giggling. You loved it!”

  Stevie pushed off his hard chest and put distance between them. The cold water didn’t extinguish the heat she felt from his touch.

  “I was not!”

  “You were! Now, come here,” he said as he took another step and wrapped his arms around her waist. That twinkle in his beautiful eyes always had her unravelling. She was powerless when it came to him.

  “Wrap your arms around my neck,” he instructed in a whisper.

  Doing so caused her nose to touch Julian’s and she glanced down at his lips.

  “Close your eyes for a moment.”

  Her eyes met his. Julian gave her a smile that sent her heart racing and aching all at the same time.

  “Julian,” she breathed out and tightened her arms around him.

  “Shh, one more memory for the vault,” he whispered before his lips found hers. Soft but with enough pressure to make her sigh. Delicate but passionate. He kissed her as no one had ever kissed her before. His lips made her head think of the ending while making her heart yearn for the possibilities. Stevie kissed him back, trying to make this moment between them last forever. She softly bit his bottom lip and felt his groan vibrate against her mouth.

  Julian pulled back and looked down at her with a smile and a softness in his eyes. “Vault’s not quite full yet. I need more memories with you, Stephanie.”

  The sun had started to set by the time dinner was finished and people had moved over to the dance floor. Her maid of honour speech had both Stevie and Clara in tears. When she was at the bar, she took a bottle of champagne, looked around to make sure no one would spot her missing, and slipped out of the doors. In the hallway, she took off her heels and walked towards the club doors. Ignoring the golf carts, Stevie slowly went up the path to the course and continued up the hills until she made it to the ninth hole, a fair distance from the wedding reception.

  She took in the sparkling lake as she sat down and dropped her heels next to her. Stevie then uncapped the bottle she had swiped and held it in her hand, staring at it.

  “This can’t be happening,” she muttered, shaking her head.

  The rim of the bottle had touched her lips before she threw back a mouthful of champagne, ignoring the awful taste of it. Champagne wasn’t her kind of drink—tequila, now that was her alcohol.

  “I haven’t worked this hard for it all to come to this,” she said, fighting back the burning sensation in her chest.

  Flashes of London appeared before her, making it hard for her to breathe. London had meant to be her escape. Instead, her darkest demons found themselves. Thailand had been purity until the moment she left. London had been her high, induced by alcohol and sex.

  “You don’t belong in all this. You seem lost. I’m getting you out of here.”

  That one voice had Stevie sculling as much of the alcohol as she could. It made her heart pain just thinking about the sweetness that laced his voice and the want to save her in his eyes.

  “If you’d let me, I’d save you. Keep you away from this destructive path you’re on, Stevie.”

  Another flash of his pale green eyes had her taking another mouthful before she set the bottle on the grass of the ninth hole. She raised her palms and covered her face. Different memories made it harder for her to breathe. Screams and begs echoed through her ears as they came bursting back, demanding attention.

  “Mind if I join you?”

  Stevie kept her face in her palms and closed her eyes tightly, trying to regain her self-control. When her heart started to settle its erratic beats, she peeked up to see Max standing in front of her with a bottle of whiskey.

  “Only if you share.”

  Max had tilted his chin up at Stevie before he sat next to her, staring out at the lake. He didn’t say anything as he unscrewed the bottle of Jack Daniel’s and took a swig. Then he had passed it over to Stevie. She held the bottle in her hand and sighed. Julian was a trigger. It wasn’t his fault for the things she did in London, but he brought back the memories. Years of making up for her mistakes seemed pointless. If he only knew what she had been like, then he’d run. Stevie froze at the thought. He’d know the monster she really was. She brought the bottle to her lips before throwing back a mouthful and passing it back to Max.

  Maybe he needs to know what I’m capable of.

  It might be the only way he’ll stay away.

  “Why are you sitting on the ninth and getting drunk?” Max asked.

  Stevie scratched her head, not wanting to make eye contact. “My past won’t leave me. I can’t make things better.”

  From the corner of her eye, she noticed Max taking another mouthful of whiskey. “I hear you on that.”

  “You fixed things, Max,” Stevie tried to reassure.

  He replied with a sarcastic laugh. “No. I fucked up big time. I’ve done shit I’m not proud of. I hurt my best friends more than once. I’ll never make things better, Stevie. I’m what my father calls a fuckin’ disappointment.”

  Her eyes found Max’s light brown eyes, and she nodded. “I know the feeling; except I think I’m more my mother’s disappointment.”

  “Why? You’re beautiful, Stevie. And you’re smart and you’ve got that mouth on you. You’re hardly a disappointment.”

  She had let out a short laugh before she took the bottle from Max, throwing back some of the whiskey. Then she handed the bottle back to him. She hated the taste, but it numbed the pain inside of her. She was willing to make the sacrifice.

  “I am. I refuse to love her,” Stevie stated, shifting her focus towards the lake. After a few moments, she laid back on the cold grass and stared up at the orange and red sky. Then she wished she was anyone else and wished she hadn’t done the things she had.

  “I refuse to love my father. I understand what you mean,” he said.

  Stevie propped herself on her elbows and gave Max a sad smile.

  He set the whiskey on the grass and leant back on his elbows, mirroring her. “So, Stevie Appleton, what are you doing with your life?”

  She burst out laughing. “You sound like my father.”

  Max loosened his tie and grinned at her. “Father Max. Ready for your confessional.”

  Stevie sat up and shook her head.

  “Where’s the ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned’ line? We were having a moment, Stevie.” Max raised his brow at her.

  “We weren’t having a moment!” She playfully pushed his shoulder. “I start my marketing internship at Rogers & Co. on Monday. And I plan on moving into Clara’s apartment on Sunday. The sooner I leave my dad’s place, the more independent I’ll feel.”

  “There you both are!” Ally said, walking up the green.

  Stevie peered past Max to see her struggling to walk on the soft ground. When Ally was a metre away, she stopped, took off her heels with a huff, and then proceeded towards them barefoot.

  “If it isn’t Miss Socialite,” Max teased once Ally sat next to him.

  “You’re so funny, Max,” Ally said, annoyed by his comments.

  “Oh, come on, princess. I was kidding.”

  “I know you are.” Ally sighed. Then she glanced up at Max and smiled. Something about Ally had everyone interested in her. She was more than just a Sydney socialite—Stevie knew that much. The more she learnt about Ally O’Connor, the more she realised that the nineteen-year-old just wanted to be her own person.

  “Maybe I should take you out, Ally,” Max suggested.

  Stevie flinched. There was no denying what a nice guy Max was, but she wasn’t letting Ally date him. Max was fighting his own demons, and from what Stevie knew about personal demons, Ally didn’t need to be exposed to them.

  “Hands off, Sheridan! Your fucked-up-ness is not going anywhere near her.” Stevie stood up and collected her shoes and the champagne bottle.

  “Ally, is my fucked-up-ness a problem? I’m really a nice guy. I just let the wrong people into my life. You’d be one of the few nice people I le
t in,” Max confessed.

  Ally gave him a sincere smile, and the way her eyes clouded, she looked like she felt sorry for him. “You’re nice, Max. But like you said, I’m a Sydney socialite. I don’t date. I party. According to the papers, I don’t date the same man more than once. And you seem like the kinda guy a girl dates more than once.”

  Max nodded. Then he got to his feet and held his hand out to Ally to help her up off the grass. “I wish I was that kind of guy.”

  “If not now, then you will be,” Ally stated as she slipped her heels back on.

  If not now, then you will be…

  Stevie let Ally’s words sink in. Maybe that could be her if she tried. Maybe someday, when she put her demons to rest.

  Maybe when I learn to forgive myself.

  When they returned to the ballroom, Stevie scanned the room to find that Rob was nowhere in sight. She breathed out, relieved. She would have to make it better with him, but she just didn’t know how. She believed he just needed time, and she was going to give it to him.

  A beautiful pair of pale blue eyes met her gaze. Her heart began to thump against her chest. Her lips tingled, missing the contact of his on hers. As if on autopilot, Stevie swallowed hard and then handed the champagne bottle to Ally.

  Stevie didn’t say a word as she walked across the dance floor and stood in front of Julian. The way he graced her with his smile sent unwanted butterflies soaring. They were the same butterflies she had felt in Thailand, and this time they fluttered higher and with more determination and intensity. Stevie blinked slowly as she allowed herself to remember what it felt like for him to hold her, and the thought of what it would be like for a man like him to love her.

  If not now, then you will be.

  But you won’t, Julian.

  You won’t love me.

  Not with what I did to you.

  Opening her eyes, she pushed her conscience out the window. One last time, she would enjoy the contact of their bodies and his eyes on her.

  “Would you like to dance, Julian? One more memory for the vault?” The nerves settled in the pit of her stomach. Not many out there made her feel so out of her comfort zone.