The Theory of Unrequited (The Science of Unrequited Book 1) Read online

  Not AJ.

  “AJ? You still there?”

  “Uh-huh,” she mumbled.

  Evan was silent for a long moment. “Are you okay?” He’d asked so gently that her heart splintered, wanting to turn her back on Duke and follow him. Like she had always followed him.

  It was always about Evan.

  It was always about making sure he was happy.

  At the expense of her and her foolish heart.

  “Yeah,” she said, forcing the glee in her voice. “Just tired of packing.”

  “You should have let me help you before I left for Vegas. You would have been done,” he lectured.

  AJ stood from the window seat and made her way to her desk. When she reached it, she saw the empty brown box waiting to be filled with items she needed to bring with her to Duke.

  “You’d complain,” she stated.

  “No, I wouldn’t.”

  She laughed. “You would have. What are you doing?”

  “Just sitting in my hotel room.”

  AJ reached out, picked up a couple of new notebooks, and set them inside the cardboard box. “Why?”

  He was silent once more.

  “I-I ...” He paused and took a deep breath. “Something just doesn’t feel right, AJ.”

  She flinched.

  Fear consumed her as paranoia roared in victory through her cold veins.

  “W-what?” she managed as she glanced down to find her left hand trembling.

  “AJ, me being in Vegas without you … It just doesn’t feel right. Sure, I’m having fun with the guys, but you should be here.”

  “Evan,” she breathed as her chest became a heavy weight she wasn’t sure she could hold for long.

  Those were words she wanted to hear.

  They were words she hated to hear—especially since she would be driving to Durham instead of getting on a plane to Los Angeles to meet him.

  Lifting her chin, she noticed the picture of her and Evan at Fenway Park wearing Colorado Rockies baseball caps during one of their senior prank moments. She thought they’d go undetected until their faces were on display on the jumbo screen. Red Sox fans had booed them, causing AJ’s cheeks to burn in embarrassment. But then Evan had pulled out a sign that read: We’re doing this for charity. Kyle is still our favorite Red Sox.

  The boos turned into cheers, and photos were taken of them, but when the game ended, she told Evan they needed to find a charity to donate to so that the world didn’t know he lied. He kissed the top of her head, then produced two checks. One for the Red Sox Foundation and the other to a charity that the Colorado Rockies represented.

  AJ reached out and picked up the framed picture of them. Not wanting to change her mind, she set it in the box going to Durham with her. She blinked her tears back as she let out a slow breath. It was the only picture she’d bring with her. The rest were memories she refused to relive at college. She needed to move on. She hoped that at Duke she’d find someone to help her forget Evan.

  Someone who would love her.

  Someone she could be intimate with.

  Someone she could have a future with.

  “AJ,” Evan said in a small voice, pulling her from her thoughts.

  “Yeah?”

  “You should be here.”

  She closed her eyes, letting those four words mean the complete opposite of what he intended. “I know,” she whispered.

  “I was in a helicopter today going over the Grand Canyon, and do you know what happened?”

  Her eyes flew open. Evan wasn’t fond of heights. She couldn’t believe he was in a helicopter. “Are you okay?”

  He chuckled. “I am. I had an epiphany.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah. During that helicopter ride, there was some sort of turbulence, and I reached out for your hand and you weren’t there …”

  Her heart dipped.

  So much hope consumed her.

  But words were just words without actions.

  And Evan’s words were just that.

  Beautiful concoctions to make her believe the unbelievable.

  “Evan, are you drunk?”

  Please, please let him be drunk.

  “Completely sober, Alexandra.”

  Alexandra.

  He hadn’t called her by her first name in some time.

  He rarely did.

  Evan was being truthful.

  “I needed my best friend today.”

  And just like that, the hope in her chest died.

  Evan’s words were powerful.

  Weapons used against her and her heart.

  But they never used to be.

  When she was just his best friend and she was unaware of her true feelings for him.

  With a tiny voice, she promised him, “I’ll always be your best friend, Evan Gilmore. Always.”

  It wasn’t a lie.

  She hoped he’d forgive her someday.

  She hoped he’d understand that she made a choice not just for herself but for him, too.

  “You’ll always be mine, Alexandra Parker.”

  And just like that, for a single moment, she let herself believe he meant that romantically.

  But she wasn’t stupid.

  Life was only as temporary as she made it.

  And she knew that to live a good life, she had to be temporary in Evan’s.

  4 Be

  berylium

  EVAN

  Summer before senior year

  Unlike all the summers before, AJ hadn’t gone back to Melbourne to visit her grandfather and family friends. Instead, she got a summer job at her mother’s bakery, and her grandfather had visited for a couple of weeks. His best friend didn’t need a job, and he thought she was wasting their final summer together before senior year. But AJ was headstrong about her college applications, hoping to stand out. She had no idea just how much she already stood out. She was a genius, and he was sure she would change the world with that brilliant mind of hers.

  As for Evan, he had no summer job. But when it came to his application for Stanford, he did have a summer job on paper. Several, in fact. All bogus. His mother and brother wanted him in college as much as he wanted to get away from Boston, so they had come to an understanding when it came to his employment history. On paper, he was the perfect candidate. Evan got good grades last year, and he was on the baseball team. He was no Kyle Gilmore, but he wasn’t a terrible batter. He finished last season with the most home runs and was expected to do even better this year.

  Senior year meant he was one step closer to California with AJ.

  It meant he was free from his family name and his Red Sox star brother.

  He could finally start a life where he was his own person with his best friend by his side. He knew AJ wanted to attend Stanford as much as he did. Her father had graduated from the very school they would soon be applying to.

  The beeping from his phone got his attention, and Evan grasped it from the holder on the console. He smiled the moment he saw her name, knowing she was almost finished with her shift at her mother’s bakery.

  AJ: Hey, almost finished. You still want to pick me up?

  Evan: I’m already parked outside.

  AJ: Stalker!

  Evan: I am your best friend, AJ. You want me to come inside and get you?

  AJ: I can manage. See you in a few.

  Evan locked his cell and returned it to the holder. He reached over and changed the radio from the classic rock station to the new comedic duo AJ loved who were on in the afternoon. He wasn’t a fan, but it was what made AJ happy whenever she was in his car.

  Minutes later, his passenger door opened, and she slipped inside. He glanced over and smiled at her.

  “Hey,” he greeted as she smiled right back at him.
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  “Hey. Mum told me to bring out some cupcakes. They’re her new recipe, so you gotta tell her your thoughts after you’ve tried them.” AJ dropped her bag on the floor, set the box on her lap, and clicked her seat belt in place. She opened her mouth to say more, but her brows furrowed and she frowned. “Rock music isn’t playing. Hester and Rick are.”

  He laughed at her confusion. “And?”

  “I like Hester and Rick. You don’t.”

  “Can’t I do something nice for my best friend?”

  “Ah, no! What did you do?” she accused.

  “Nothing,” he said as he signaled left and pulled out once it was safe to do so. “We can change the station—”

  “No! I want to know who wins the hot dog eating contest. I hope Rick does because Hester usually wins everything.”

  Evan shook his head as he drove toward Brookline. “Since you have the afternoon off, what do you feel like doing?” he asked once he stopped at a red light and glanced over at her.

  “Don’t you have plans with Hunter and Dustin?”

  “Canceled. We have barely hung out this summer with your grandfather visiting and you insisting on having a summer job, so it’s an AJ and Evan afternoon.”

  That sweet AJ smile graced her lips. A smile that told him he was doing something right. Out of all the people in his life, he had only ever wanted to do right by AJ Parker. She had been there for him more times than he could count, and when he made her smile, he felt accomplished. The warmth in his chest was what he loved most when he did make her smile.

  “Like what kind of AJ and Evan day? Like hang out at my place? Or drive to somewhere new?”

  When he got a green light, he pressed on the gas and asked, “North or south?”

  “South,” she said confidently. “As long as we’re back by curfew.”

  “AJ, you know that’s not happening.”

  She sighed. “You’re right.”

  Evan quickly peeked over to see the smile still on her face. “Last chance to back out.”

  “In your dreams. I’ll just let Mum and Dad know.”

  “I wish you were more rebellious.”

  “Maybe in college.”

  He grinned.

  He loved it when she spoke of college.

  His wants for her were going to be realized once senior year was over.

  “I can’t wait to see it,” he agreed.

  An hour and fifty minutes later, Evan got out of his car and followed AJ down the beach until she turned and looked out at the water. They had been to Watch Hill, Rhode Island, several times on their spontaneous road trips out of Massachusetts. Evan had planned to take her to Connecticut this time, but then AJ spotted the sign for Watch Hill. She had him take the next exit so they could go sit on the beach. Evan was happy to comply. It meant that he’d get her home without the wrath of her father.

  Evan sat on the sand and watched AJ wrap her arms around herself. He tilted his head back to look up at her and saw the contented smile on her face. Her eyes remained on the horizon for a few minutes until she let out a breath of air and sat down next to him.

  “So where did you plan on taking me before I ambushed your plans and demanded Watch Hill?” she asked with curiosity gleaming her green eyes.

  He shrugged. “Somewhere in Connecticut.”

  “Rhode Island is nice,” she said as she rested her head on his shoulder, just like she always did when they were together.

  It was nice.

  It was so AJ.

  She gave him peace when his life was hell.

  He still had no idea who he was, but around AJ, he was comfortable. He felt real around her. She knew all his secrets and flaws. She might not understand his relationship with his brother, but she respected him enough not to continuously push for details.

  The truth was, AJ was the reason their relationship was so strained.

  She was so unaware, and Evan wanted to keep her in the dark.

  If she knew how Kyle felt about her, her feelings toward Kyle and Evan might change. And Evan wasn’t going to risk it.

  He wasn’t going to risk his friendship with AJ.

  It was precious.

  She was the most important person in his life, and Evan was determined to always be hers.

  “Summer’s almost over,” she noted.

  “Yeah.”

  “We’re going to be seniors.”

  He continued to gaze out at the swimmers in the water. “We are.”

  “Do you think everything is going to change?” AJ asked as she pulled away.

  Evan met her tight smile. “What would change?”

  “Us.”

  “Why would we change?”

  She shrugged a shoulder. “Lead up to college? I don’t know. I just have this feeling that everything is going to change.”

  “In a good or a bad way?” he asked as he stood and brushed the sand from his ass. Then he held out his hand to AJ, and she took it firmly.

  “In a good way,” she answered as he hoisted her up to stand. Then she added, “I hope.”

  Laughing, Evan collected her other hand in his and pulled on them so her eyes focused on him. That tight smile spread into one of humor. “Then we won’t let anything change between us, all right?”

  “All right.” Then her smile faded. “But …”

  Evan’s brows met in confusion. “But what?”

  “What if I hate the girl you date this year?”

  “How does that change anything between us?”

  “Can I be vocal about it?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Of course, I want your opinions.”

  “Okay.”

  “But seriously, AJ, we can’t let anything come between us, okay?”

  “Okay. Nothing will come between us,” she agreed with a nod.

  Kyle.

  His brother quickly consumed his thoughts, and Evan knew they were only one year away from moving to California to be away from him.

  “And no one,” he added.

  His best friend squeezed his hand as she promised, “No one.”

  “Mum, I’m home!” AJ shouted as they entered her family home after their drive back to Brookline from Rhode Island.

  Evan would never get tired of hearing AJ call her mother ‘mum’ rather than ‘mom.’ Although AJ was Australian, she was born and raised in Brookline, Massachusetts. She was as American as they came, and most were surprised when they discovered she was Australian. She had a slight accent, more prominent when it came to certain words she’d say, and mum was one of them.

  “In the kitchen,” her mother replied.

  “Come on,” AJ said, leading him away from the entryway. They walked into the large kitchen and found her mother by the stove.

  Evan was always amazed how a woman like Clara Parker could spend her day at either her restaurant or bakery and still come home and cook dinner for her husband and daughter.

  AJ walked up to her mother and kissed her cheek. “Dad home?”

  Mrs. Parker stepped away from the stove and shook her head. “He will be soon.” Then she approached him, and like always, she pressed her palms to his jaw and kissed his cheek. “Hello, Evan.”

  “Hey, Mrs. P. How was work?”

  She sighed. “Tiring. But it was good. We made some progress on the new menu for the restaurant. Did you two have fun at Watch Hill?”

  “We just sat on the beach,” he answered.

  “That’s nice. Would you like to stay for dinner?” her mother asked him.

  “You don’t mind?”

  Mrs. P’s light brown eyes glimmered. Her daughter had gotten her green eyes from her father, but AJ’s brunette hair and slim face were from her mother. “Of course not. You’re family, Evan.”

  AJ’s mother had no idea what it meant
to him to hear that from her. He had always been envious of his best friend. Evan’s parents were too busy with their successful companies to care about him. They had always favored Kyle, and it was evident when they moved mountains just to make it to his important games early in his career. Noel and Clara Parker had been to all of Evan’s games, and every time he stepped up to the plate to bat, he’d look out and find the sign Mrs. P always held up: I believe in Evan!

  Mr. and Mrs. Parker were like his second parents and allowed him and Kyle in their lives and home without a second thought.

  “Alexandra, your cousin called,” Mrs. P said as she pulled away from Evan and returned to the stove.

  AJ went to the fridge, opened it, and pulled out two bottles of water, handing one to Evan. “Which one?”

  “William,” her mother replied as she bent her knees and opened the oven; the smell of roast chicken and thyme engulfed the kitchen. “Evan, can you get me the oven mitts?”

  His eyes scanned the kitchen counter to find the mitts near the sink. He walked to the counter, set his bottle down, and picked up the oven mitts, handing them over to AJ’s mother with a smile.

  “Does he want me to call him back?”

  Mrs. P put on the thick mitts and nodded as she pulled the tray out from the oven, setting it on the stove. “If you wouldn’t mind. He said it was important.”

  “All right, I’ll call him now before dinner. Evan, are you going to be okay here?”

  “Sure. I’ll help your mom.”

  “Thanks. Won’t be long.” Then AJ left the kitchen, and her footsteps could be heard disappearing up the stairs.

  “Not sure what she’d do without Will,” Mrs. P said as she stared at the doorway. Then she turned and faced Evan. “But you, Evan, I have no idea how she’d cope if she didn’t have you in her life. I know I don’t say this enough, but thank you for being Alexandra’s best friend.”

  And that acknowledgement from AJ’s mom brought that warmth back to his chest. Radiant warmth that made him feel proud. Because he was. He was proud to be AJ’s best friend.

  “Mrs. P, we all know I’d be the one who wouldn’t cope without AJ by my side. You know I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her.”